Phoenix Rising
by the.mind.hunter
Summary: While walking along snowy streets, a stranger helps to open Emily’s eyes to get her into the holiday spirit.
1. Slow Burn

Phoenix Rising

_Part I: Slow Burn_

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: JJ/Emily

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. I just like writing about it.

Summary: While walking along snowy streets, a stranger helps to open Emily's eyes to get her into the holiday spirits.

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The holidays were just around the corner and with a blanket of white covering the world, Emily Prentiss of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit, should have been content to stay at home, indoors, but she felt herself growing listless, anxious. The dark brunette was usually happy wrapping up a case Friday nights then going out with her team, but the out-of-office interactions with her family-like unit had been few and far between as of late. All her teammates had lives now apparently. Penelope Garcia, the unit's tech guru, normally orchestrated the events, but the quirky blonde had recently found herself in a budding new romance that swept her off her feet and away from the team. Derek Morgan, the handsome, headstrong partner of Emily's who was always ready for any night out, was increasing his diligence and self-control. Emily supposed he was trying to settle his life some. Even nerdy Spencer Reid had found a new passion: mastering an instrument. Emily had presented the young genius with a violin for his birthday and he was determined to play at the unit's holiday party. And Rossi and Hotch? Well, Emily knew they were too devoted to their work (hunting down those serial killers) to even being to realize it was the holiday season.

One of the few people spreading the holiday spirit however, was the last person Emily wanted to think of. Unbidden, her mind wandered to their press liaison, Jennifer (JJ to her friends) Jareau. As Emily's thoughts filled with images of the beautiful blonde, she found herself yet again regretting her solitude. For years, no one had been able to get under the brunette's skin like JJ had done in just mere moments. Being an Ambassador's daughter had taught Emily to be wary of the kindness of strangers, and yet, there was something in the blonde's eyes that told of only friendliness and love. Her kindness was genuine, something that Emily was not used to and she didn't know how to react to the blonde's smiles, her soft, fleeting touches and her whispers of maybe, just maybe something else. She knows it sounds foolish, even wishful, to think that the beautiful blonde could feel even half of what she felt whenever JJ was near. She knew her feelings could not and would not be reciprocated.

Pulling her coat tight around her, she sighed. It was stupid, she knew, to fall for a coworker, even stupider to fall for a straight, female coworker. Emily knew better than to question her heart though, for she believed the heart was often smarter than the mind on certain matters. Now, however, she had to admit, she was feeling pretty foolish.

Even more foolish was walking through downtown Washington the day before Christmas Eve, when all the couples of the city were out being lovey-dovey and cute. It was the first time since joining the FBI that made Emily want to gag. Adding to her dour mood was the softly falling snow. She knew the city would look beautiful from her condo's view right now, but home was the last place she wanted to be. In her condo she couldn't escape her mind and her perverse thoughts and a glass of wine only dampened her mood even more.

"Like this is helping," Emily grumbled, watching a couple making out on a bench. She rolled her eyes, thinking of how public displays of affection could use a little less 'public' and a lot more 'private.' The couple separated, the blonde smiled up at her boyfriend and from his pocket he pulled a velvet box. Her blue eyes shone with tears as she leaned in and kissed him again. Emily's mind immediately went to her own blue-eyed blonde.

The she could feel the bile rising in her throat as she thought of how the blonde would be spending the holidays, with that slow talking, stumbling, bumbling, poor excuse for a detective, Will LaMontagne. That detective had wormed his slimy way into JJ's life and had managed to push Emily out of it. The brunette seethed, letting the air escape her lungs and watching as the wind went swept it away. _"Dammit,"_ she thought. Emily paused, suddenly realizing where she had wandered to, Pentagon Row Ice Skating rink. There was a massive Christmas tree set up on the far side of the rink, the lights reflecting on the ice, making it glow. The star on the top shone beautifully against the dark, starless night.

Sighing and pulling her coat up around her neck, she walked over to an empty bench and plopped down. Her eyes raked over the skaters, wishing their joy and holiday spirit could somehow reach her. But she was isolated. An island. On the edge. She had spent all her life on the periphery, on the outside looking in...

"May I sit here?" a gentle voice broke through Emily's mussing and she looked up to see an older woman gesturing to the seat beside her.

"Oh, of course." Emily nodded politely, moving slightly to her side of the bench more.  
There was silence for a few long moments and Emily almost forgot that the older woman was seated beside her when she heard the woman say, "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

The brunette whipped her head around to face the woman, "Huh?"

The woman smiled, looking out to the rink, "It's a beautiful day, so full of love and promise."

Emily shrugged, "I suppose..."

"Something wrong, dear?" the elder diverted her attention from watching the skaters to the brunette.

Emily sighed, shaking her head, "Ma'am, I..."

"Oh, sweetie, it's the holidays. There's no reason for sadness and regrets, and you're sighing a little too wistfully for me not to ask." The woman crossed her hands in her lap, "I'm sorry for intruding."  
Emily groaned inwardly, now she was just being rude to the poor woman. "No, ma'am, I'm sorry. You're not intruding, I just..." Emily stared off toward the rink again, "I've been thinking about someone and I can't seem to get them off my mind."

"Why aren't you with them for the holidays, if you don't mind me asking?" the woman inquired politely.

Emily felt the blush rising quick to her cheeks; if the woman asked, she would say it was the cold getting to her. "Well, they're kind of with someone else..."

"Ah. I see." The woman nodded, reminiscing, "My husband was with someone else when we met. We were happily married only a year later."

The brunette smiled kindly, "That's wonderful, ma'am. I'm glad to hear everything worked out for you."

The woman nodded, suddenly facing Emily. She held out her hand. "My name is Grace."

"It's nice to meet you, Grace, you have a beautiful name." Emily took the proffered hand. "I'm Emily."

Grace smiled, her face lighting up and looking considerably younger to the agent. "So, Emily. Tell me about this woman."

The brunette floundered, her eyes wide with shock, "I uh, wha?" She looked at Grace, fear sinking in. "I never said it was a woman..."

The older woman chuckled softly, "You didn't need to. My son is gay, I know the signs."

Emily's face still registered her shock at being found out so easily. She didn't know what to say to Grace, letting her gaze drop to her hands.

"This woman is with someone else for the holidays you said?" Grace asked, waiting until Emily nodded, returning her gaze. "Is it serious?"

Emily snorted, "Is what serious? My feelings for her or how seriously sad that thing that calls itself a man is?"

Grace nodded, "I see..." She tightened her scarf around her neck, fiddling with the tassels at the end. "You love her." The statement fell from her lips so easily that Emily would have believed it was merely a comment on the weather again.

When the words finally registered in her mind, Emily let them play over and over, like a broken record.

Emily sighed, resting her head in her hands, "She's amazing. She's sweet and kind. She's beautiful and she has a heart of pure gold. Her eyes are so beautiful and blue and I feel like when she looks at me, she sees right through me. I feel like an open book to her and I want her to know everything about me. And I want to know everything about her. And sometimes, when we're working, I can feel her eyes on me. She touches my hand when maybe she shouldn't and I know I sometimes do the same. I thought for a while she felt something for me too, but then she got with a slow talking detective that we met on one of our cases. I felt so broken when I heard." Emily stopped herself there, she felt appalled with herself for expressing her emotions like that. She felt so stupid, "God, Grace, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to blurt out everything like that..."

"Don't apologize, dear! I just want to know what are you doing here pinning away for her when you could be with her," the older woman asked, putting what Emily wanted to do bluntly.

"I…I can't," Emily stuttered lamely, "She's with someone, remember?"

"And what's your point?" Grace asked. "You love her. Go let her know. It's time for new beginnings, Emily."

Emily shook her head, "I can't ruin her life, Grace..."

"Well, from what you've just told me, it might not being ruining her life." The woman looked pointedly at Emily. "Did you ever think that maybe she feels something for you, too? Maybe that slow talking detective is just her way of trying to light a fire under your feet."

The brunette cocked her head at Grace, "What do you mean?"

"Maybe she thinks if you see her with someone else, you'll finally make a move, instead of letting her go," the woman explained, watching the realization sink in.

"No," Emily laughed it off, "JJ wouldn't do that... She doesn't feel that way about me."

"And you know this for a fact? Emily, sweetie. The worst that could happen is she rejects you. The best thing would be that she feels the same," Grace said, patting the brunette on the knee. "Life is about taking chances and following your heart. If I hadn't done that, I would have never married Harry and I wouldn't have two beautiful kids that I adore." The older woman smiled sadly, "I don't regret what I did. Even if he hadn't felt the same, I still wouldn't regret it. At least I would have gotten the closure I would need to accept it and move on."

Emily nodded, wondering why she had never reached this conclusion herself. "So what do I do?"

Grace smiled wider now, clutching Emily's hand tight in her own. "Go tell that woman how you feel. Go sweep her off her feet and away from that detective. Go make your life your own. You deserve it."

Emily looked down, feeling the internal war raging inside her. Her mind screamed for her to remember the reality of the situation and to think logically, but her heart was begging for release. All her pent up feelings that had so long been repressed were aching to get loose. Did she dare cross that line? Could she really win JJ over? Could she take that final step? She stood up suddenly, a move that surprised Grace. Looking down at the woman, she smiled, for the first time in a long time, it was a genuine one. Her cynical mood of early had dissipated into one that spoke only of promise and a new beginning.

"Emily?" Grace questioned cautiously, her voice tentative and full of the wonder of a young love.

"Thank you, Grace." Emily said, clutching the older woman's hand. "Thank you for opening my eyes and showing me the way. Thank you for freeing me. I finally feel like I have the courage to tell JJ how I feel." Feeling like the handshake would be too impersonal for the woman who had just helped her through her inner turmoil, Emily instead, she pulled the older woman up to her, hugging her tightly.

"Thank you," she whispered again.

"Oh, Emily," Grace said softly, pulling away to look her in the eye, "Don't thank me, just go do it." She frowned. "I wish I could know how it goes."

"My business card is in your coat pocket. Give me a call." Emily smiled. "I'd love to hear from you."

Grace beamed. "I will." Then shooed her away. "Go, go. Get your girl." She could feel the sting of unshed tears in her eyes; they would fall any moment now.

Emily nodded, then took off in the direction that she had come in a slow jog. She felt liberated, like a heavy burden was lifted from her chest as she ran through the snow. Every step felt like she was stepping away from her carefully constructed edge. And stepping into the fire.

"Mom?" At the sound of a young man's voice, Grace ripped her gaze from Emily's quickly retreating back and to the three people walking towards her from the rink. "Mom, who were you talking to?"

"Yeah, who was that?" the woman a few paces behind the young man asked.

Grace quickly tried to wipe the tears from her eyes as she addressed her family. "That was Emily. We were just having the most delightful chat..." She reached into her pocket, feeling the tip of the business card with her thumb and smiling.

"Oh, uh, okay, Mom," the man said, his sister sitting beside Grace.

"What were you talking about?" the woman asked, brushing some snow from her mother's coat.

Grace lifted her gaze to the older man that had come to stand beside her now. "True love." She explained, reaching out for his hand. Harry smiled, taking it.

"Sounds magical," he whispered.

"It is."


	2. Into the Fire

Phoenix Rising

_Part II: Into the Fire_

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: JJ/Emily

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. I just like writing about it.

Summary: While walking along snowy streets, a stranger helps to open Emily's eyes to get her into the holiday spirits.

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The snow fell harder now; the flakes had become larger the further she drove away from the inner city. The walk to her condo to get her car was made considerably shorter by her swift jog. And now that she was in her car, she was beginning to wonder if this really was such a good idea. With such heavy snowfall and no evidence of any plows driving through, it would be nearly impossible to make the drive home from JJ's later. It would probably be very bad if she were to get stranded. Maybe she should turn back while she could still see where she was going.

No. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest, a steady rhythm of no, keep going, keep going, keep going. She wouldn't let Grace down, not now, when she was so close. With a new resolve, Emily drove further into the night.

Taking the last turn down JJ's neighborhood and onto her street, Emily could feel that resolve weakening. She should have called first, instead of just showing up unannounced. What if Will were here? God, that made sense, it was almost Christmas. They would be spending the holiday together. What was she thinking? Emily was never impulsive like this.

Emily pulled to a stop on the other side of the street, facing the blonde's house. She cut the engine, clutching the wheel tight, her knuckles turning white. "Dammit!" she hissed, slamming her forehead onto the steering wheel. "I am so stupid, stupid, stupid!"

She glanced over at the house where the blonde resided and groaned. This had to be her dumbest moment, but then again, she knew her mind wasn't always thinking clearly when it came to the blonde liaison. A sigh escaped her lips as she stared at the house. Christmas lights were strung with taste, not too many, not too few. A well-decorated wreath hung on the front door, giving the house a homey, well lived in feel. Thinking back to her own condo, Emily wondered why she even owned decorations if she never even put them up. She vaguely wondered what the blonde's Christmas tree looked like...

The Christmas lights flicked on and Emily had never seen a more beautiful home in all of her travels. The front door opened, and the blonde stepped through the door, venturing out into the falling snow. Emily felt her breath catch in her throat as she took in the sight of JJ in the snow. She shivered, watching the blonde dance around, a look of pure happiness of her beautiful face. Emily suddenly felt compelled to leave her car and make her way over to the blonde, but stopped herself with her hand on the door.

Catching sight of JJ's golden hair reflecting the lights, Emily's heart stopped. Without thinking, she opened her car door, crossing the snow covered street toward her coworker. Her mind and her heart were suddenly focused on the same thing – JJ She stepped from her car, onto the snowy road, into the fire.

The blonde turned on the spot and paused, her arms out around her and her blue eyes trained on Emily. The confusion and delighted surprise on her beautiful face made Emily falter. In that moment of hesitation, Emily's step landed on some hidden ice, her foot sliding out from underneath her. She hit the iced walkway hard, her hands falling out behind her.

"Whoa!" she yelped, feeling the sting of the cold, hard snow. "Ouch..." she hissed, holding her stinging hands in front of her, on her lap.

"Emily!" JJ yelled, running over to her and sliding, much more gracefully than Emily, to a stop in front of her on one knee. "Oh god, Em, are you okay?" She reached out, taking one of the brunette's red and raw hands in her own.

"Well, that was smooth..." Emily muttered, running her other hand through her wind-swept hair. "Yeah, I'm fine JJ, just feeling really stupid, though..."

"Why? Everyone slips on ice; it's nothing to feel stupid about..." JJ said, wondering if slipping on ice frowned upon by the Ambassador too.

Emily waved off her comment, "Not that, not the ice."

"Then what?" The blonde prompted. Her hand smoothed over the rough planes of Emily's palm, causing the brunette to shiver involuntarily.

"Where's Will, JJ?" Emily's voice betrayed her, cracking slightly when she mentions the Cajun worm.

JJ stares blankly at her, her mouth opening and closing a few times like she was impersonating a goldfish. "I uh, he... What?"

Emily sighed, leaning on her knees and pushing herself up. She moved slightly to her right to avoid the ice, then helped to pull the still floundering blonde up. "Where's Will?" she asked again, her voice stronger than before.

JJ brushed her numb hands off on her jacket, heading back to her front door. When she noticed that the brunette wasn't following her, she turned, her gaze focusing on Emily's hand. Reaching out, she tugged on Emily's sleeve, "Come in, Emily."

Inside the home was just as quaint as Emily had imaged. There was a Christmas tree in the corner near the fireplace, it was decorated traditionally, lights, candy canes and shining ornaments were the predominate decorations. There were only a few presents under the tree and even from the distance Emily could pick out Garcia's gift. She smiled, taking in the rest of the house, "Just what I imagined..." she mumbled.

"What?" JJ asked, jumping slightly when she registered the brunette's presence in her home.

Emily's cheeks flushed crimson, "Oh nothing..."

JJ nodded absentmindedly, walking over and flopping down on her sofa. Sighing, she patted the space beside her, "Come sit, Em."

Emily sat obediently beside her, giving the blonde her full and no longer divided attention. "What is it, JJ? Where's Will?"

"He's not here, Emily," JJ blurted suddenly. She felt a rush of calm wash over her; telling someone, especially Emily, the truth felt really good.

Emily didn't know what to say, it was her turn to flounder for words. Noting the blonde's posture, she knew that a comforting touch would mean more than words. She reached out, hesitantly, to rest her hand on JJ's shoulder. "JJ..I'm so..." she stuttered; she really couldn't bring herself to say she was sorry, because she wasn't.

"I'm not sorry, Em," JJ's normal, proud voice broke through Emily's internal war, startling her. "It wasn't going to work unless one of us gave up our job. I can't leave the BAU. And he wouldn't give up his badge. If we really wanted it to work, one of us would've made it happen. So I'm not sorry."

Confused by the blonde's profound declaration, Emily didn't know how to reply. "I, uh, okay then."

"So what brings you here, Em?" JJ asked, her mood brightening considerably at the subject change. Seeing the brunette on her walkway had stirred up some long repressed feelings and the blonde was dying to know what brought her attractive coworker to her home, the day before Christmas Eve.

"Oh, uh, well you see I was at the ice skating rink and I, uh..." Emily had had her moments before but this was ridiculous. She made a promise and goddamnit she was going to keep it. "I came to tell you something JJ" Grace's voice echoed in her head and she felt compelled to tell JJ the truth.

The blonde nodded. "Okay. What's up?" She turned her body so three quarters of her lithe frame faced the brunette. JJ reached over, taking Emily's now sweating hands in her own. Noticing this, JJ became concerned. "Is everything okay?"

Emily nodded mutely, where had her voice, her bravado, her determination gone? Oh right, it got left behind on the ice that she lost her dignity on. Emily forced her eyes away and anywhere from the blonde before her, trying hard to focus her feelings into words, least it all come out like a puzzle.

"Em?" JJ was scared now, and used her hand to make the brunette look at her.

Fight as she might, the feeling of JJ's small hand on her cheek was too much for her to handle. Everything that she had been feeling, thinking, wishing rose to the surface of her being, compelling her forward. Before she could stop herself, her lips were flush upon the blonde's own rosy lips.

Time stood still. All that existed now, were two bodies as they melded into one.


	3. Rising from the Ashes

Phoenix Rising

_Part III: Rising from the Ashes_

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: JJ/Emily

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. I just like writing about it.

Summary: While walking along snowy streets, a stranger helps to open Emily's eyes to get her into the holiday spirits.

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The moment JJ felt Emily's soft lips on her own, something inside of her snapped. She felt the tension that had stretched her so thin, like a rubber band, release at the supple meeting of lips. Emily's own fear and nervous also seemed to just melt away when she finally pressed her lips to the blonde's. When no slap came, Emily pressed a little firmer against JJ, placing only enough pressure on her mouth so that JJ would not mistake this. This was no accident or stumble, for the first time that night, Emily got something right.

As much as her heart begged her not to, Emily knew she must pull away and explain herself. Slowly, she extracted her mouth from JJ's, taking in the sight of the blonde. Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted, her cheeks tinged with blush.

Emily reached out, cupping JJ's cheek in her hand, smoothing her thumb over her cheekbone. "JJ… Honey, open your eyes." She watched in confusion as the blonde clamped her eyes shut tighter, "What's wrong, sweetie?" The brunette's other hand slid into JJ's hand in her lap, holding on like a lifeline. "JJ, look at me. Look at me."

JJ's eyes remained closed, but she finally spoke. "I can't open my eyes. If I do and I don't see how I feel reflected in your eyes then I don't know what I'm going to do."

Emily didn't know if she should laugh or kiss her again after hearing her excuse so she decided on both. She chuckled softly before pressing her lips to JJ's again. She registered the blonde's shock for only a second before JJ kissed her back. This time, Emily didn't pull away when she felt the blonde kiss her, she felt emboldened and parted her lips. She ran her tongue lightly over the blonde's bottom lip and smiled into the kiss when she felt JJ shiver. JJ was shocked at how forward Emily was acting, but she enjoyed it. A bold Emily was a sexy Emily. JJ let the kiss deepen, wrapping her arms around the brunette's neck, pulling her in. Emily slipped an arm around her waist; the blonde was practically in her lap now. The kiss was becoming very heated now; JJ was forcing the brunette back onto the sofa, half laying on top of her. Emily moaned as JJ's fingers tangled in her hair, pulling her face even closer. Emily was trying as hard as she might to resist the urge to continue their impromptu make out session, but she still hadn't explained herself properly.

"JJ." Kiss. "I need to..." More kisses. "Talk to you." Even more kisses were exchanged as JJ ignored her. Laughing, Emily placed her hands on the sides of the blonde's face, slowly pushing her away. "JJ, I promise, just lemme say what I need to and then we can continue."

JJ reached up, brushing her tangled hair from her face, "You promise?"

Emily nodded, resisting the urge to laugh again. "God, you're cute."

JJ blushed, scooting back off of the brunette, smiling apologetically. "So, um, you wanted to talk?"

Emily sat up, straightening out her shirt as she addressed the blonde. She took JJ's hands in her own. "JJ, I came here tonight to confess something to you." She blushed. "In case you haven't figured it out by now, I have feelings for you. Very strong, romantic feelings for you."

JJ nodded, giving Emily's hands a slight squeeze, letting her know it was okay to go on.

"I want to be with you," Emily whispered, her dark eyes locking on to clouded blue ones. "All day, every day. No matter what we're doing, I don't care if we're about to raid an unsub's place, I wanna be there with you. You're all I think about, Jennifer, and I can't stop myself. I should've told you sooner... but I was so afraid of losing you as a friend, I didn't want to risk it by opening my big mouth."

JJ wanted to slap herself. "You mean, I wasted all that time with Will when I could've been with you?"

"I'm sorry JJ, I saw the way you two acted around each other. I didn't want my stupid crush to come in between your happiness," Emily explained, thinking of all that lost time.

"Oh, Emily... I feel the same for you, you're such an incredible person, I never thought a woman of your intelligence and caliber would fall for me..." JJ felt tears stinging in her eyes at the brunette's admission. "I'm glad you finally told me."

Emily smiled ruefully. "Well, I kind of had a promise to keep."

The two sat in silence, just content to study the others' features, now knowing that all those longing looks really meant something. Emily's hand caressed the side of JJ's face, rubbing her thumb gently over her rosy lips.

"You are so beautiful," Emily whispered, pressing a light kiss on the blonde's lips.

JJ smiled, squeezing the brunette's hand. She reached up, brushing a lock of dark hair behind her ear. "You're amazing, Emily Prentiss." She leaned forward, pressing another kiss to Emily's cheek. "Do you want to spend the holidays with me?" JJ asked shyly.

Emily smiled, radiating happiness. "I would love too, Ms. Jareau." She kissed JJ again.

JJ smiled, an attractive blush rising to her cheeks as she bit her lip, asking, "Can we go back to making out now?" Emily's hearty laughter was her only reply.

That was last night, and now JJ just smiles and cuddles up closer to the slumbering brunette beside her. She gently reaches up, brushing the hair from Emily's face before running her fingertips lightly over her soft skin. A swift hand suddenly grabs her wrist, stilling her caress.

"That tickles," Emily mumbles, peaking open one eye. She meets cool blue eyes and feels a smile threatening on her lips.

JJ smiles sheepishly, trying to pull her hand out of the brunette's light grip, and it tightens. Emily instead, pulls JJ's whole body over her, cuddling up close as she asks, "Why are we up so early?"

"It's almost 10 sleepyhead," JJ explains, stifling a giggle.

"Oh."

The blonde lets out a chuckle, pushing some loose hair behind her ears so she can see Emily better. "Why don't we get up, eat some breakfast, then go to your place to grab your gifts?" JJ requests, "Then we can come back here for the holiday?"

It was Emily's turn to laugh now, "I see you've forgotten."

JJ cocks her head to the side, her brow furrowing in confusion.

"We're snowed in," Emily explains, and now JJ remembers how just before crawling into bed last night, the two women chanced a look outside to see the snow. The snow that made driving impossible and very likely, improbable.

"Looks like we're stuck here then," JJ grins wickedly.

"Oh I'm sure we'll survive, we are FBI agents after all. I'm sure we can think of something to keep us busy." The words were filled with love and promise and new beginnings.


End file.
